The Bad Deer Hunter

Comment

The Bad Deer Hunter

This is a post from my Substack. If you want to check out my most recent writings, please click HERE


As a young whippersnapper I did not hunt. I grew up in a family of mostly non hunters with a stepdad that got into it when I was already nearing the time I’d be leaving the house. My stepdad only hunted deer for the 15 days a year that we can legally hunt deer in Michigan with a rifle. Needless to say, that did not leave a lasting impression upon me as to how one should hunt, or that hunting was something desirable to do. I am now a 40-year-old and I am a bad deer hunter.

The blame for my bad deer hunting is not to be put on the shoulders of Tom (my stepdad), but squarely on my shoulders as I do not have what it takes to be what is referred to in modern day parlance as a good hunter. My mind wanders to the countless anthropology books and other materials I have read over the years recounting the ways in which men in the past hunted deer, or stags, or elk and I yearn for those days. My soul truly yearns to stalk an elk on the Great Plains in a pair of shoes made of the skin of another animal that I had hunted.

That is not what a successful deer hunter looks like today. A successful deer hunter must learn to sit for hours in a tree stand or a deer blind and wait. A successful deer hunter is a person that can endure the torture in their joints that ensue from being unable to make any major adjustments because deer don’t like to see movement or hear any movements either. Deer hunting today, were it not for the phones that everyone uses while hunting to distract themselves reminds me more of a Vipassana meditation retreat where the meditators will spend hours in a single position. The difference being that Whitetail hunters are meditating on killing something.

Of course, hunters will say all sorts of things about my inability to sit still for countless hours as being representative of the times. People just cannot sit still they will say, but are humans really meant to sit in a single unmoving position for 4-12 hours? I personally do not think so. Since getting into hunting as an adult I have been drawn to all the hunting that involves movement because of my innate need for it. In fact, as I grow older, I feel the need for movement only increases as each and every year I get more stiff. The odd thing is that most hunters today think that sitting around is the norm for human hunting, and that because I prefer to stalk deer, I am the strange one.

The amazing thing is that we have countless anthropological texts that showcase modern hunting as being the new guy on the block. Stalking deer is the way in which people have forever hunted deer (when not setting traps for them). I can find no historical writings that suggest people in any place in the world just sat there like an ambush predator. Humans are so ambulatory in fact that it is thought the original hunters simply ran down their prey because humans have longer endurance than most animals. Click here for an example of how this is done.

The simple truth from my perspective is this: with a shrinking availability of public land and a population that is ever growing, hunting from a blind or a tree stand is one of the safest ways in which hunters can protect themselves from getting shot. It also allows one to put down bait (not all hunters do this) to lure deer in and get a better chance at seeing deer. In all honesty I will typically search for places I think nobody else is hunting to lower my chances of getting shot if I am out stalking because people get killed every year by hunters that do not take their time to make sure a deer is what they are shooting at.

Another reason that hunters generally don’t stalk is because nobody wants to walk up on a hunter in a tree stand as that usually results in an angry hunter in a tree. I have actually walked up on many hunters in tree stands over the years and it can be unsettling to say the least. Fear of getting shot races through the mind, and also just knowing that you have most likely ruined the other hunter’s chances doesn’t feel good either. But ultimately this is the chance that hunters take when putting a tree stand on public land and any conservation officer will tell you that it is not against the law to stalk.

I have only shot 4 deer since 2016. One being the deer I just shot on 11/17/23 or Friday that I did in fact silently sneak up on. The last deer that I shot was also a still hunt, but the two priors were deer I shot from a blind. I did in fact feel pretty elated when I finally shot a deer on the first two occasions, but it was elation after days of dreadful agony. My friend and podcast cohost of the Publicly Challenged podcast Luke will do what are known as “All day sits” and there is not a single bone in my body that envies him when he partakes of this. He goes out and hangs in a tree in his saddle for up to 12 hours. No thank you. You could promise me I would see monster bucks and I would still say no to an all day sit.

Maybe there is something wrong with me. Perhaps I am wired wrong, but I would rather take my chances and slowly get better at still hunting deer than sit around all day in hopes of seeing a deer. The reality is that for me it is more than just shooting a big buck or even the meat, it is the process of the whole thing that makes the meat taste so much better. The deer I shot on Friday was a hard won hunt and one that I will not soon forget, but the hunts from blinds are forgettable and there is no real story behind either.

As controversial as this may sound most tree stand hunts also sound rather forgettable to me. I will get slack for this, but I have yet to hear a truly inspiring story come from the mouth of a tree stand hunter as most of it sounds like a bunch of sitting around watching squirrels. None of this is to say that it is not a valid or good way to hunt for you if that is how you hunt and you enjoy hunting. For me personally I like living a life full of good stories, and I believe that it is better to be a bad deer hunter with good stories rather than a great deer hunter with no stories.

Thank you so much reading this. If you think that you would like to support me in any way you could share this content with friends on your social media accounts, or you could do me a super favor and sign up to be a paying subscriber over on Substack. It only costs 5 dollars a month. That is less than the cost for a single weird drink at Starbucks and while that might not mean much to you it does mean a lot to me

Comment

Comment

New 'Foraging the Fifty' Youtube channel.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have had the distinct and delightful opportunity to start chasing one of my dreams: going to all 50 states to do some foraging! I conceived of this idea a few years ago and luckily enough I happen to have a brother that is a videographer and has all of the equipment. We have already filmed in a few different states, and our first full length episode will be released in about a week’s time.

Please do me a favor and click through the link here and subscribe to our youtube channel! Thank you in advance!

Comment

Four Spring Roots that you will love!

Comment

Four Spring Roots that you will love!

Spring for foragers is a lovely time of year. We have patiently waited for the unfolding of the final spells of snow, and mostly the cold weather is not so cold anymore. These are the days of warm sun on one’s cheeks, and an abundance of happiness that seems to emanate from an unending well of happiness that perhaps you had forgotten existed during the long, cold, and dark days of Winter. Finally, there is something to forage for besides Chaga, and Pine Bark!

Comment

I'm Gonna Get You Sucker!

4 Comments

I'm Gonna Get You Sucker!

Sucker is more than just a trash fish.

I grow tired of hearing the typical thing year after year after year: Suckers are a fish only fit for using as fertilizer or worse yet, as a species to catch and do nothing with at all besides throw it aside on the bank. Catostomus comersonii or White Sucker in normal people speech is a bottom feeding fish that should have a new P.R. agent on its side to smash these crazy beliefs that people hold about them. Suckers are delicious, and hopefully I can convince you to get out and try catching them to add to recipes.

4 Comments

 3 Winter Wild Edibles You Need in Your Diet!

Comment

3 Winter Wild Edibles You Need in Your Diet!

Winter is here and it is time you got something wild into your digestive tract! Most Foragers simply give up when the snow hits the ground, but I don’t think you need to do that and you may just feel healthier if you find some of these delicious plants this winter! Here are my favorite 3 Winter Wild Edibles!

Comment

Hop Shoots

Comment

Hop Shoots

When asked about what wild foods people know about in the spring months one usually gets back the ever present reply of "Ramps and Morels". Hidden in plain sight is a vegetable, a shoot, that most people have never even heard of. This fantastic wild edible not only rivals the two aforementioned wild edibles, but may in fact taste better. What could possibly taste better than Ramps and Morels you might ask? Hop Shoots.

Comment

5 Comments

Guest Blog: Nature's Antidote to Anxiety by Kevin Hood

Nature's Antidote to Anxiety

What you didn’t know, and ought to, about Eastern Skunk Cabbage

The Author in his natural habitat!  Photo Credit: Corrine Denomme

The Author in his natural habitat! Photo Credit: Corrine Denomme

“It smells so good, I want to eat it!”

I didn't know it yet by name…

Though I was an utterly inexperienced forager at the time, I resisted the temptation. I would have instantly regretted consuming the leaves of Eastern Skunk Cabbage, symplocarpus foetidus. One of my earliest adventures through the swamps of SouthEastern Michigan — to learn about the wild world of plants — introduced me to a species I would remain mysteriously drawn to for years to come.

If you’re not already aware, its leaves and roots contain calcium oxalate crystals that cause extreme irritation to the mouth when chewed. Even after learning I had wisely avoided this extremely unpleasant experience, I still had a sense that this plant had something important to offer.

Years later, when I came to learn its association with “Bear Medicine,” a series of serendipitous events would find me kneeling down in a swamp and up to my elbows in iron rich, alluvial soil.  My companions and I, working patiently to free its deeply embedded, contractile roots from Earth. 

This prehistoric perennial lives for several decades, each year growing deeper, not taller.  It consumes oxygen at the rate of an equivalently sized animal and can raise its internal temperature to nearly 60°F, flowering through ice and snow in the earliest of spring.  This plant knows resiliency, and teaches it too.

In fact, it may just be nature’s antidote to anxiety. Eastern Skunk Cabbage is ubiquitous to much of the Midwest. Nearly impossible to enjoy as an edible, most of its herbal indications surpassed by more popular and easier to access species, this unrivaled antidote to anxiety remains hidden in plain sight. Quietly and patiently doing its work, humbly willing to offer its medicine to those who approach it with honor and respect. Known widely by pre-pharmaceutical physicians for its utility in alleviating nervous irritability.

Photo Credit: Corinne Denomme

Photo Credit: Corinne Denomme

“By most persons it is accused of being mildly narcotic; but many experienced and careful physicians assure me that it is in no sense narcotic, but a simple and reliable nervine, of the most innocent and effective soothing character.” - William Cook, M.D., 1869

Known similarly by the indigenous cultures that inhabited its range, its root used for heart medicine, asthma, and a talisman against the return of disease. Those properly initiated can call upon Skunk Cabbage for strength of heart, and power of breath. And, while I won’t tell you what to do with this plant, I encourage you to exercise caution, do your own research, take responsibility for your own actions as the intelligent and capable adult that you are.

However, I will say this: a tincture of the dried or fresh roots renders the calcium oxalates innocuous.  And, 5-10 drops, in my own personal experience, yields profound and immediate results.


As long as you know how to listen, I imagine you’ll be granted a similar experience.

I have known Kevin for years and although we live in different regions of Michigan we often engage in great conversations regarding what is “natural” to the human being. Kevin specializes in much of that work and I thoroughly enjoy his insights on life. If you enjoyed this Blog and you would like to read any more of Kevin’s amazing content go to kevinhood.me You will not be disappointed!


5 Comments

Guest Blog: Why Wild? By Madelyn Walters

Comment

Guest Blog: Why Wild? By Madelyn Walters

For most people, a weekly stop at the grocery store is commonplace. The cabinets run dry, our fresh food is used up, and we look to the grocery stores that stock foods from all over the world. It is truly an incredible time to be living in. We can order almost any food item online, or run to the store and find fresh bell peppers in the middle of January! This is amazing, and I certainly partake in the common purchases of a consumer. Up until about 4 and a half years ago, I purchased all the food I consumed. I was actually eating a plant based diet at the time, and most of my plate consisted of foods shipped in from all over the world. Once I met my partner Clay, my whole perspective was shifted.

Comment

4 Reasons You Are Not Finding Chaga

6 Comments

4 Reasons You Are Not Finding Chaga

If there is any way to assure yourself of not finding Chaga this is the head honcho of reasons. Get off of the path! The reason here is fairly simple: Everyone walks on the paths, and chances are pretty high that you are not the only person that is out there looking for Chaga. I would in fact be very surprised if you were the only Chaga hunter in your area. That is like believing that in the entire universe there are no other life forms.

6 Comments

3 Reasons You Should Be Drinking White Pine Bark Tea This Winter.

5 Comments

3 Reasons You Should Be Drinking White Pine Bark Tea This Winter.

If there is anything that this year has really proven to me it is that we Americans are an unhealthy lot. We regularly disregard basic tenets of healthy living, such as exercise, daily fresh air and most importantly eating healthy to maintain a healthy weight and a healthy immune system. So while I would love to write about all of those things so that my friends and family stay safe, I will instead focus on this one little drink that keeps my family healthy and generally not sick if we drink it regularly. The drink is White Pine bark tea. I implore you to get to know this drink as it is not only healthy, but damned refreshing!

5 Comments

Deer and Death

Comment

Deer and Death

I do not think of myself as a Whitetail hunter. That has never been something I have proudly displayed to the world. In fact, up until this year I had only ever shot one deer and it was a spike buck. I could give some fake answer as to why I am not a great deer hunter, but the reality is that I do not specialize in hunting deer because I find deer hunting, usually, to be mind numbingly boring. I have spent many years stalking deer here in Michigan, and while it is very fun, it has never once payed off for me. What does pay off for most deer hunters is sitting in either a blind or a tree stand that has been placed in a location one has seen deer sign in, and waiting patiently until a deer comes meandering through. It is extremely boring and it doesn’t feel like hunting to me.

Comment

Myths and Legends: Chaga

9 Comments

Myths and Legends: Chaga

This blog has been a long time coming. A recent interaction with an overly emotional person finally sparked the powder keg. I have spent years working on trying to debunk the bull#@t about our worlds favorite new fungal pathogen. But the myths and legends just keep on coming. Year after year. While I am aware that I do not have the entire world as my audience I do hope that the next time someone tells you all the fairies will die if you harvest any more Chaga that you will please point them in the direction of this blog. Hopefully this way, little by little, we can chip away at the nonsensical claims made about Chaga.

9 Comments

Want To Hunt Squirrels? Go Nuts!

2 Comments

Want To Hunt Squirrels? Go Nuts!

It’s an average autumn day in Northern Michigan, cold but the sun still warms you, and movement easily keeps you warm.. The breeze that flows through the air threatens you with winter, but not for a while yet. Today, while the raucous noise of birds and frogs have long gone, the sound of dropping acorns and the frustrations of Squirrels is all that I hear, perhaps even all that I desire to hear. I am not here for a casual stroll through the woods to admire the majesty of nature, no, I am here to procure food. Today I walk through these woods with a gun. This is a food that is often looked down upon. Mostly by the general public, but also by fellow hunters. Lucky I am then to be able to hunt these animals without much pressure from other hunters.

2 Comments

The things they never tell you about harvesting wild rice.

4 Comments

The things they never tell you about harvesting wild rice.

I just got back from the most glorious week of harvesting wild rice that I have ever had. This is my 8th year harvesting wild rice, and each year I go out looking to harvest enough of this highly-nutritious grain so that we (my family of five) can eat it for the entire year, multiple times per week. If you know me at all, you know that I cannot stop talking about wild-rice harvesting. It is by far my most favorite thing to wild harvest. But harvesting rice can be a downright itchy, horrible, and muscle-aching event to partake in at times. So why do I look forward to it each and every year?

4 Comments

 4 tips for Foraging for subsistence with a full time job.

Comment

4 tips for Foraging for subsistence with a full time job.

When I first got into this quest to feed myself from the land, I had no idea how much time it was going to take. I had no idea of how to forage quickly or efficiently, nor did I know how to properly process the foods that I did bring home. Because I never attended plant classes by experts and failed to find a mentor, the vast majority of the things I have learned are either from a book or come from trial and error on my own part. Add in the fact that all of these years( except that one year that I lived as a bum and earned only 2,600 dollars in an entire year) I have had to work for a living and you start to see the picture that the foraging lifestyle is not as glamorous as Instagram or Facebook might make it seem.

Don’t get me wrong, I would not change my life or take anything back at all. I love doing my absolute best to be a modern day hunter-gatherer. But it is exhausting. There are nights when we go to bed well after midnight because of some form of food preservation or another. This very morning I woke up and canned 8 pints of wild blueberries before I went off to work. I had no other choice, as I don’t want to waste the berries that I just spent days picking.

I have had many people over the years tell me that it is easy for me because I do not have a full time job. People assume that because I write, or I teach classes that my only income comes from those sources. That is 100% false. I like to call myself a self employed hustler. I am a carpenter, a gardener, a wild foods teacher, I sell a tiny bit of wild food each year to some local restaurants in my area, and I started writing for a couple publications in 2019. Early on in my life I decided that working for other people would not be the best option for me, and I have literally done anything and everything possible to be able to keep this dream alive. All of this was done while simultaneously dedicating my life to procuring wild foods for the table.

Because I truly do want to help people not make the same mistakes that I have made over the years I have decided to write a blog with some tips that will hopefully help you and your loved ones achieve Wild Food Nirvana.

  1. Take things slowly

    The absolute worst thing that I did in the beginning was to try and rush through every possible item that I could shovel into my gullet. I went from a dude that could not Identify more than a couple plants to a dude that was filling his house with wild foods in less than six months. I would bring home every single species that I encountered on my forays that were edible. I am not joking. Every. Single. Species. Raw chicory greens on a turkey sandwich? Yeah, I did that.

    Your experience with eating wild foods and dedicating yourself to this lifestyle will be greatly enhanced by slowing down. Especially in the beginning. Try adding in one new species at a time. First and foremost see if you like the species that you are working with. I often convinced myself that I liked something even though I in fact did not. There is no shame in not harvesting some wild foods. I haven’t harvested Jerusalem Artichokes for my kitchen in 8 years probably. I think they are gross, starvation food fit for the apocalypse.

    Taking time to learn a species properly gives you space to explore all of the possibilities that a single food item can achieve. Some foods can be fermented and taste much better that way. Some foods taste great cooked, but horrible raw. Eventually some of these plants will become commonplace in your diet and you won’t be able to imagine your life without them. I have many of these foods.

  2. Get the right tools for the job and learn the correct way to harvest.

    This step is very important. It will not matter how many tons of nuts you harvested if you have no idea how to process them, or the correct way to keep them shelf stable. One can find a patch of wild rice without too much difficulty, but without the ability to harvest that rice it is completely useless as a food crop.

    A common sight for me every summer is the would be forager with a container in one hand while the other hand collects berries one at a time. This is fine if what you are after is eating one cup of berries a year, but if you actually plan on being able to harvest appreciable amounts of berries every year then you need to invest in proper equipment, and learn proper technique. Otherwise your foraging endeavors will be greatly hindered. A berry basket that hangs around the neck or a Blickey that is belted around the waist are two better options than picking single berries with one hand.

    I spent years picking wild blueberries by hand, even with two hands picking, and getting pretty fast at it, my gal Madelyn and I would not fill a five gallon bucket picking all day. I always scorned the idea of a berry rake as a bad idea because of the time spent winnowing leaves and floating off unripe berries. We switched to berry rakes at the suggestion of a friend and we have never gone back. I can now fill a five gallon bucket in a couple hours if we’re in decent blueberry territory. The time spent cleaning berries is absolutely minuscule in comparison to spending all of my daylight hours picking berries by hand. The trade off is definitely worth it.

My son using his blueberry rake to help supply our family with his favorite berries.

My son using his blueberry rake to help supply our family with his favorite berries.

3. Be prepared to pick wild foods wherever you go!

Assuming you have a job, and you too want to be able to harvest wild foods for the table one time saver is always being prepared to forage. For me this means always having a basket/s and a good knife in my car. Other handy tools that are easy to store in any trunk are snips, a little hand saw, and a handheld shovel. Occasionally there are other tools that one could use, but those are the basic tools all foragers can have handy for quick forays into foraging areas.

Foraging actually requires a lot of forethought and planning if you really want to get serious about it while also working a job. This means learning where you might encounter a target plant, how you can get there before or after work and whether or not it is even legal to harvest at this location. Doing your homework can payoff though because instead of eating most of the boring, nutrient poor fare they pass off as food at the supermarket you can get real food, full of wild flavors that our wild ancestors survived on.

I cannot even count how many times I have stopped while driving because I spotted Chicken of the Woods or a fully loaded Autumn Olive shrub. Last year when driving to my home in Traverse City, Michigan from Ashland, Wisconsin I picked nearly 100 pounds of apples. This is completely normal for my family. Having baskets and a willingness to lengthen your trip can result in a bonanza of wild foods.

Basket filled to the brim with delicious, invasive Autumn Olives.

Basket filled to the brim with delicious, invasive Autumn Olives.

4. Avoid burnout by finding your staples.

We all know what burnout is. Many things in life are exhausting to do, but attempting to live off the land while you have a full time job is probably at the top of the list of exhausting things to do. One way to lighten the load is to stick to some staples that you absolutely need to have, and leave the rest for another year.

I refuse to go a single year without harvesting wild rice. Wild rice not only provides food for me in great quantities, but it is also the most wonderful time of the year in my opinion. Although harvesting rice involves great physical labor, there is something absolutely rewarding about spending a day in a canoe with a good friend harvesting delicious food. The commitment to rice I have made means that I have to not work in order to harvest it. I typically tell clients that I will be unavailable during ricing season, and I treat it like a vacation. Alternatively I have friends that will only harvest on the weekends and they do not have to miss any work.

Finding staples allows us to focus on a few things that we love and not burnout on constantly attempting to work 2 full time jobs. High energy people like myself find this life fun and exciting but for some it can be extremely wearisome and not worth the effort. This is why shaving down what you are after is important. Make a Foraging Greatest Hits list and stick to it until you are ready for more action. If there is one thing that I have learned throughout all of these years it is that there are hundreds of different flavors out there and you don’t have to like them all. Nobody is forcing you to spend a day picking Violet flowers for a salad you will eat once this year. If we don’t figure out how to enjoy this activity then inevitably we will quit.

Moving Forward

If you take small steps and learn how to properly harvest wild foods your relationship with wild species and wild places will improve dramatically. You will pass the word on to others and gradually this will help our world move toward a more healthy lifestyle. Most importantly, those that eat wild foods will do anything they can to protect those places that house those wild foods. The person that never eats wild foods has no care in the world if the countryside is slowly clearcut around him or her. Being a forager may just seem like a silly, hipster thing on the outside, but on the inside it is a complex web of ideas, skills and relationships that can never be duplicated in a grocery store.

Thank you for reading this blog! If you would like to support me you can click through any Amazon link on this website and do your regular shopping and I will get a tiny percentage of what you buy at no cost to you! Thank you again!

Comment

The plant that fights back: Stinging Nettle

7 Comments

The plant that fights back: Stinging Nettle

Of all of the plants that I have ever encountered in my entire life, Stinging Nettle will always be my favorite. As a child I would often run through the woods behind my house and sting myself with the plants and give my best attempt at curing the sting with other plants juices. Despite that being quite idiotic, I made it out without ever having a bad rash. When I think back to my childhood I have no idea what made me so drawn to that plant. Stinging Nettle is perhaps one of the most nutritious greens on this planet. Perhaps the draw to this plant was an unconscious desire to meet more nutritional needs. Maybe it was a spiritual connection? Or maybe it was just happenstance for a weird kid with a high tolerance for pain.

7 Comments

Wild Water

1 Comment

Wild Water

It never fails to amaze me how something so mundane and universal could be something that is so essential to life. Much of my life is spent in search of oddities, foraging for mushrooms and plants that nobody has ever tasted before. Showing people how to feed themselves from the land, and yet water often goes as this ingredient that is taken for granted. We ignore it, forget about it, and definitely do not show it the reverence that it deserves. And despite all of that, water makes up about 60% of your total body weight. Without this one ingredient all life on this precious blue planet would be gone.

1 Comment

White Pine

1 Comment

White Pine

In a landscape that is covered in snow and usually considered barren except for the animals there is sustenance to be procured. Our modern minds, unless trained otherwise, think only of agricultural land as holding food or drink. Wild landscapes are not the places we typically associate with harvest or bounty. Yet, for the vast majority of life on Earth, wild places were the only place to procure food or drink. In our 300,000 years on this planet we have managed to make it to almost every place that is possible to inhabit. And cold climates with snow for half of the year or longer are no exception.

1 Comment

Some Thoughts on Covid-19

6 Comments

Some Thoughts on Covid-19

The world has mostly come to a grinding halt over the past two weeks. By now you'll have heard of the pandemic causing virus known to most of us simply as the Coronavirus. A disease that had its origins in China and has now spread to nearly every single place on this precious planet of ours. People are getting sick, some of those people are dying, and the very foundation of our society is showing its weakness. This weakness is the very thing that during good times we view as our greatness: our vast empire that encompasses the entirety of our planet.

6 Comments

Feral But Not Forgotten

1 Comment

Feral But Not Forgotten

In a not so distant past, before the majority of us bought our food at the grocery store, each and every Autumn people from all walks of life could be found collecting feral apples. Whether for cider, or for eating in a pie, feral apple trees have fed thousands of people for a very long time. While time has passed by, and these trees mostly stand ignored, the fruit they bear is available to anyone with the desire to harvest these unique apples.

1 Comment